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The Final Countdown...

So here we are.... a mere few weeks away from our second child entering this world. It seems like just yesterday/seven thousand years ago that I peed on a stick, thus once again changing our lives forever. It has been a trying 36ish weeks to say the least - significantly more difficult that my first pregnancy; The nausea, migraines, heartburn, round ligament pain.... it's a wonder my husband hasn't divorced me, because I can only imagine the joy and gaiety I have exhibited this past year. That being said, we've made it. We're into the final countdown before meeting our new little girl or boy (we still don't know what we're having, but rest assured... my parents' housekeeper is convinced that I'm having a boy because "my face got really ugly").

Let's Talk: The Three Signs That Pregnancy is Coming to an End

1. Nesting

It's seriously a thing. It's more than a thing. It's a compulsion to control the final few weeks of life before the inevitable chaos kicks in. I definitely displayed the nesting behaviours when I was pregnant with Emily, but in a much more nurturing, less aggressive manner; I made her room pretty, folded the cute newborn clothes - you know, the normal, non-OCD stuff. This time around.... jesus... I think my daughter and husband are both terrified of me. I've bought shelves and bins, thrown stuff away ("If you haven't used it in the last week, it's useless!!!!!"), rearranged rooms, packed and repacked the hospital bag... I've wandered the halls in the middle of the night looking for things to straighten or alphabetize. It's been oddly satisfying in a who-have-I-become type of way. I recently came across the video below and literally laughed out loud... I'm not sure anything that I write here could do a better job of illustrating what it's like to live with me right now. It's brilliant and I want to shake the creator's hand.

2. Praying for Baby to Come Out

Get. It. Out. No, like NOW. My doctor warned me when I was three months pregnant: "Steph, this is your second. It's going to be a lot more uncomfortable and you're going to feel like you may go into labour at 30 weeks because everything is stretched out from last time". She wasn't kidding. Aside from the fact that my internal organs are a human punching bag every night between the hours of 9pm and 3am (I'm growing a tap dancer, lucky me), I also have every other symptom that most of us mamas go through at this stage of pregnancy: Nausea, insomnia, heartburn, muscle spasms, constipation, dry eyes, shortness of breath, and what I'm thinking is an arm dangling out of my vagina. It's unpleasant to say the least. Between the waddle and heavy breathing, it's as though my life's goal is to emulate all the stereotypical movie pregnancies. But I promise, it's not an act... no one can drip with this much sweat on demand. So ya, like I said... GET IT OUT. A stream of pee down one's leg after sneezing, laughing, coughing or breathing gets old fast.

3. Praying for Baby to Stay In

There comes a point in your pregnancy when you realize you're about to have a baby. This is about to become real, and that alien-thing that has been moving around inside of you for the last (what seems like) 15 years of your life, is about to exit through one hole or another. And that's when it hits you... WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE?? Let's examine the current situation: I have a wonderfully independent five and a half year old daughter, who is at school all day. Our generous parents never say no to baby sitting our ONE child, thus making date nights and/or weekend getaways very easy. There is a 2:1 ratio of adults to children, so voting is never a problem (although sometimes Mike and Emily team up and I lose the "can we stop building forts in the TV room" argument). My husband and I both have a ton of independence, and our extra-curricular expenses have been manageable, seeing that there's only so many activities we can cram into one kid. Life is easy. Also, I have a REALLY good reason to eat McDonald's and ice cream without the typical guilt. So... as much as I am physically uncomfortable with this kid trying to claw it's way out through my belly button... are we really ready for the alternative? The explosive poos, sleepless nights, and starting from scratch? Ummm... okay baby. Maybe stay in there a bit longer. There's one or two organs that you've still left in tact. Have at 'em.

So, there they are - the three signs that this chapter of life is coming to an end, and the next one is just around the corner. I'm not the only one who has gone through them, and thank god the neighbourhood mamas are not afraid to share their experiences, because otherwise it's enough to wonder if your sanity will ever return (for the record and from experience, it doesn't). My next post will be coming to you from the other side - no, not death, but perhaps something close to what may feel like it. I'll share with you the treats and treasures of having a newborn once more. I'll also tell you about the time where my live-in nanny of five years recently returned from the Philippines only to announce that she too, is pregnant, landing my husband with two pregnant women in this house. That's right. Take it all in.

Wish me luck!


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